I don't usually reprint press releases, but I thought this one was worth passing on. It comes from the beloved Faker's Mark Distillery, a subsidiary of Mr. Bean Global:
We at Faker's Mark deeply value our customers and want all of them to have access to our bourbon. At Faker's Mark, we have a tradition of only making one thing and doing it well. Despite the apparent ubiquitousness of our bourbon, however, our production has not kept up with demand. For instance, several people complained on our Facebook page that they were not able to secure bottles of our collectible Little League World Series commemorative bottle (it's collectible because it's a different color than the regular bottle); another person complained that they had to have a Jack Daniel's Choco-bourbon-tini when a TGI Fridays in Kenosha, Wisconsin ran out of Faker's. In our view, this is totally unacceptable. In order to address this serious shortage of product, we have made the following changes:
- Effective immediately, we will be reducing our Faker's Mark bourbon from 45% abv to 42% abv. If that goes well, we will reduce it to 40% in another six months;
- Effective immediately, Faker's Mark will only be available in 375 ml bottles (Our taste tests confirmed that using the 375 ml bottle did not substantially change the flavor profile.);
- In order to prevent consumer confusion, 375 ml bottles of the 42% Faker's Mark will be available at the same convenient price as the current 750 ml bottles.
We at Faker's are shocked at some of the early responses we've received to these changes. People don't seem to realize that we are only making these changes to help our loyal customers, particularly those who will buy our lovely, commemorative, wax dipped bottles no matter what we put in them. Keep in mind, it is important for us to have more Faker's on the shelf so we make more money so we can give back to the community by suing anyone else who uses a red wax seal.
Please direct all inquiries to Mr. Bean Global.
Hilarious
ReplyDeleteI laughed. I cried. I switched to Larceny. I enjoyed your assessment. But, I'm sure you'll be hearing from their lawyers shortly... :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I've been waiting for this.
ReplyDeleteactually JUST as in the financial meltdown, the RATERs are the first domino to fall
ReplyDeleteremember when moodys rating service gave triple-A ratings on paper that became more toxic than junk bonds in two weeks ?
well here we have the high exhaulted mystic TASTERs deciding that in their unquestionable and infallible judgement.......TADA........the watered DOWN stuff taste is the SAME as the old quality stuff so we can cut costs and keep the price the SAME !
Well, it was bound to happen. MM is pretty much the Jack of bourbon now. People who don't know any better just buy it because of the marketing.
ReplyDeleteThey're probably the two most overrated whiskies in the world(not counting Pappy!). I don't drink either one, so it doesn't matter to me.
BTW, I have noticed a run on Maker's in local stores since the announcement.
With this move, Maker's will firmly establish itself alongside Beam white label on the bottom shelf. Good luck, guys!!
ReplyDeletei GUESS we told em..LOL......i heard on my news radio broadcast this morning that MAKERs MARK has decided to leave well enough alone and suffer mitigated damages learning from the NEW COKE product marketing disaster BY announcing it is not changing anything
ReplyDeletethey did get a good deal of press and now can be assured a run on their product currently on the shelves of liquor stores