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Monday, December 21, 2015

The Sku Awards: Stupidest Bourbon


Everyone is always saying that there just aren't enough whiskey awards. To help cure this horrible shortage, all this week I will be presenting the Sku Awards. While most awards recognize greatness in whiskey or large entry fee payments, the Sku Awards celebrate stupidity, though I am happy to take entry fees. We will get started with the coveted Stupidest Bourbon award.

Stupidest Bourbon: John E. Fitzgerald 20 year old

This is possibly the most competitive category in whiskey today. From Kentucky Owl to Blood Oath to Blade & Bow, it really is the Golden Age of Stupid Bourbon. But just when Diageo thought it had cornered the market on stupid, Heaven Hill blasts in with this tiny vial of diluted Stitzel-Weller juice for $300 that comes in its own tomb.  There's no question, this is the stupidest bourbon of the year, possibly of the decade.

Congratulations to Heaven Hill!  Please contact me for your shelf talker and feel free to add this award to your promotional materials.

Tomorrow: The Year's Stupidest Whiskey Labels
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11 comments:

  1. Josh FeldmanDecember 21, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    Stupid is as stupid does. The market is coocoo for anything S-W so here we see the fruit. The only way this will end is when people stop playing. I see few signs of that yet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carlton WDecember 21, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    My vote goes to Yellowstone Limited Edition. 105-year legacy, 105 proof, and a price of $105. What more could you ask for from a seven year old sourced bourbon?

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  3. Funky TapeDecember 21, 2015 at 10:27 AM

    Could also win Stupid Packaging. HH in a narrow defeat over WT's Master's Keep. Both great bottles, terrible boxes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 12:11 PM

    Totally with Carlton on the Yellowstone Limited Edition.

    ReplyDelete
  5. tanstaafl2December 21, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    A late entrant has to be the latest concoctions from Widow Jane. "Organic", "Farm to Table", "GMO Free". Must be some mighty special stuff and all for around $105 to $125 per 375ml bottle. Oddly little or no mention of the small barrel, less than 1 year of aging these fine bourbons have undergone. But on the plus side there they come with a cardboard tube that looks like the insert for a roll of paper towels with an aluminum foil cap and yet another label slapped on the outside.

    What more could you want???

    And yet somebody will probably buy them. Somebody always does...

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 3:15 PM

    My vote also goes to Yellowstone Limited Edition. It's a huge $105 shelf turd where I'm at. Supposedly limited to 6,000 bottles, it's seriously all over the place in Portland.

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  7. AnonymousDecember 22, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    Apparently this reviewer agrees: feel free to fwd to 2:40 mark. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps4n_Vmqcik

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  8. AnonymousDecember 23, 2015 at 9:27 AM

    It's also Whisky Advocate's whiskey of the year. LOL http://whiskyadvocate.com/tag/john-e-fitzgerald-20-year-old/

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  9. Sam KomlenicDecember 23, 2015 at 10:23 AM

    Well, the fact that the concept may be dumb doesn't exclude the whiskey from potential greatness.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JoshDecember 29, 2015 at 1:10 PM

    Whisky Advocate is good for cheap laughs and nothing more. Completely worthless, which is appopriate because it's always lying around, for free, at whisk(e)y bars, shops and trade events. Why anybody would pay a dime for it is a mystery.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2016 at 4:02 AM

    Most might know it, but since it contributes totally to this post and it's not linked yet:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps4n_Vmqcik

    ReplyDelete