Monday, April 13, 2015
A New Technology to Miraculously Age Whiskey
Like Ponce de Leon searching for the fountain of youth, whiskey makers have spent years on the quest for a method that will allow them to age whiskey more quickly. There have been countless theories and experiments, but now one man says he has the answer.
Larry Shihtzu of the Happy Kennels Distillery says he has a fool proof, tested method for aging his whiskey at lightning speed. According to Shihtzu, "We opened our distillery inside of a working kennel so it actually ages in dog years. For every year of aging, it tastes like it's aged for seven, so in two years, it will taste like a 14 year old whiskey; in three, it will taste like a 21 year old. When this hits the market, it's going to be huge!"
Shihtzu explains that the presence of dogs changes the composition of whiskey. "It's like how whiskey aged on the coast or on a boat has those sea notes. At the kennel, the dogs play with the barrels and roll them around; the whiskey acclimates to its surroundings and ages accordingly."
But can storing whiskey with dogs really speed up the aging process? We took Shihtzu's theory to a chemist at a nearby university. Speaking off the record, he was skeptical, saying that from his observation, the theory appeared to be "total bullshit." Responding to the chemist, Shihtzu was undeterred, "Look, we have graphs...and charts. This thing is legit. We even submitted an article to the Journal of Veterinary Medicine."
In the end, as with any whiskey, the proof will be in how it tastes. According to Shihtzu, the distillery isn't providing samples of their work at this time. "Right now we're just doing press. You don't want to rush these things."