As many of you know, my previous efforts to monetize this blog have been a complete failure. My deal with Diageo fell through and the Protestant Malt Whiskey Society went bust. It's not easy being a blogger. On top of drinking really great whiskey all the time, I actually have to have a job. It seems so unfair. But now, I've got the answer.
I know that if you're like most people, you love to buy useless shit. If you own a Neat glass or a Pappy Van Winkle belt buckle, I'm talking to you, and I've got some merchandise you won't be able to pass up! Please allow me to introduce our Sku line of products.
The Sku glass. Being in with Sku means that you know quality and have class. This classic Glencairn glass with a lovely monogram shows that you are in the know about all things whiskey. And don't even think about adding ice, you hopeless philistine. ($45)
The Sku Shirt. Show your sku-ness with a lovely Sku T-shirt. Available in any size sold at Target. ($75).
The Sku Whiskey Infographic. Who doesn't love infographics? I lovingly crafted this hand-made, full-color infographic from my special Sku knowledge of whiskey. It's an 8 1/2 x 11, suitable for framing, one of a kind original, available in hard copy or pdf. It will make you smart and cool. ($120)
And remember, if you don't have Sku swag, you're not a real whiskey lover!
What are your consulting fees? I need someone to tell me what the best whiskey is and what my favorite should be.
ReplyDeleteNice try SKU...April Fools!
ReplyDeleteNo limited addition whisky stones ???
ReplyDeleteHard-Bound Editions (in leather) of each and every blogged article from the great SKU Blog! At only $1,499, autographed for an additional $250, Personalized message for an additional $633....
ReplyDeleteSign me up for one of each article, with the First in each series autographed, and the last in each series to include a personalized message from the GREAT SKU! Thanx in advance! I'll watch for the Fed-Ex Truck starting tomorrow.
Hilarious stuff! Love the "Sku" graphics on the glass and shirt.
ReplyDeletedarnnit.. you already put the caramel color up..
ReplyDeletehow about a bottle of caramel.. private labeled of course..
SKU Brand.. for adding that flavor of processed sugar to all your fine beverages.
Will you take a three-party, post dated check in payment? And, talk about stones . . .
ReplyDeleteWow, this came at just the right time. Being an old fart with a birthday coming next week my wife has been pressuring me for ideas. About the only thing I don't have is some quality sku merchandise. She was thinking about an L.A. Rams cap, but this is so much better.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe you ruined all that good stuff with a Sharpie
ReplyDeleteGuys, y’ know… that… that… it doesn't work for me. I gotta have more bagpipe!
ReplyDeleteAnd the info graphic comes in a lovely Retro look!
ReplyDeleteDo you take PayPal? Are the shirts cotton? If so are they pre shrunk?
ReplyDeleteSorry, I only take Bitcoin.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to tell us how Cananadaian, i think that's how they spell it, whiskey is made.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a month. When can I expect to receive my Sku brand assless chaps?
ReplyDelete