Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Sku Awards: Stupidest Whiskey Person

Our final Whiskey Award is for the Stupidest Whiskey Person. It's sort of like a reverse MacArthur Award, because why should only geniuses get awards?

Today's winner is Randall Johnson from Fort Collins, Colorado. Randall paid $400 on a Facebook site for a bottle of current release Old Weller Antique. Before deciding on the award, I interviewed Randall to see if he had the enhanced level of stupidity that would make him worthy of a Sku Award.

Randall, what made you pay $400 for a bottle of Old Weller?

Well, I was interested in bourbon because I saw an article on Bloomberg News that said it was really hot right now. I like hot things, but I also want whatever hot thing I get to be the very best, so I needed to do some intensive research. Luckily, I found out that on Facebook there are a lot of places to purchase bourbon from some very knowledgeable people. The best bourbon, of course, is Pappy Van Winkle. Very few people know it, but this Old Weller is actually pretty much the same as Pappy Van Winkle 10 year old. If you look on the label, you can tell because they both say "Frankfort." It also has a UPC code!

Okay, but why didn't you just go to a liquor store and buy a bottle?

This isn't just any Old Weller; it was bottled specially for one of the liquor stores in Kentucky, where the bourbon was actually made. It's a very precious bottle, and the guy who sold it to me even let me pay extra for him to put some parafilm wax over the top to prevent oxidation.

And how did you like it?

It is the first and by far the best bourbon I've ever had! It tasted really bourbony. I don't have any notes on the finish because there is still some left in the bottle.

What do you think your next bourbon purchase will be?

The funny thing is that after I bought the Weller, I received all kinds of great offers for amazing stuff. There's one guy who said he could get me a bottle of Angel's Envy for $500. Another one said he had something called Barterhouse that he would let me have for $750. There are so many great deals to be had, and it feels so great to be part of a community of like minded enthusiasts!

Well, there you have it. Congratulations to Randall and all of our Sku Award winners!


Richnimrod said...

No notes on the finish yet??? ...."Because there's still some left in the bottle"....!!!!
WOW, you can't make up stuff like this ... Can you?
GREAT Stuff, SKU! Keep up the good work. Finding this sort of exemplary stuff can't be easy. My hat is off to you.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, my friend.

Funky Tape said...

Congrats Randy! That's seriously an amazing ..amazing score.

SKU, you selfish bastard, you're not even going to give up the name of this gold mine FB flipper group for your loyal, devoted fans?! What, we're not good enough? Smart enough? Come on!

Seriously, just throw me a lil bone here brah. It's Christmas for crying out loud.

I mean, ok, my local stores do have this Weller stuff for $22.99, but I need someone way more smarter than my stupid ass that knows like all the UPC's and stuff to help me spend...err invest...that other $377.01. This one I found has a brown screw top, but no Parafim. Hard pass? Oxidized? Crap. Help!!

RandallDJohnson88 said...

I don't get it? It's really good bourbon though? So why?

RandallDJohnson88 said...

Also that interview is false? Didn't say all that? But okay?

Donald Sink said...

You are kidding, right? Please tell me you are kidding! Nobody is THAT stupid... Except me for falling for this one...

Harry said...

I'm with Donald - this cannot be a real interview.

billyhacker said...

He did the interview on Facebook, and I got to follow it in real time. Randall is the real deal.

Anonymous said...

Randall is real?!?!?!

Unknown said...

Sorry, but to me the real stupidest whiskey person is whoever it was that shelled out over 300 euros for a bottle of Hirsch Selection 20yo American whiskey!

Anonymous said...

>Chris Lehmann:

They must have mistaken it for the A. H. Hirsch and thought they got a bargain :-/

Anonymous said...

Funky Tape, if you want to join the group, it is called Strong Water Trading.

To give you an idea on values, you can check out prices since transactions are logged in a publicly available Blue Book.

Hope this helps

Anonymous said...

For real?

Anonymous said...

SKU can you please REMOVE the Anonymous post broadcasting the FB-SWT group?