Friday, January 29, 2016

New Whiskey Labels: Ice and Circus

This week's most interesting new labels from the federal TTB database:

Compass Box cleared a label for a new blended Scotch called The Circus. Per the back label, they found "old parcels of Blended Scotch and Blended Grain whisky" which had been aged in sherry casks. They added some sherry aged malt to the blend to make The Circus.

Edrington cleared a label for Highland Park Ice Edition, a 17 year old.

And for those of you who are mixologically challenged, here is a label for pre-mixed Jim Beam and ginger ale. By the way, I've heard this product used to be available in the US in the '90s; I don't know if they took it off the market completely and are bringing it back or if it has always been available in some regional markets.

Note:  The fact that a label appears on the TTB database does not necessarily mean it will be produced.  In addition, some details on the label, such as proof, can change in the final product.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Diageo $pecial Releases

One of the great things about being in a whiskey club is you can pool resources and taste things you would never be able to afford on your own. At the LA Whiskey Society, we benefit from that pooling (as well as some members' immense generosity) and are lucky enough to get to taste some great stuff. Recently, we tasted the latest line up of Diageo special releases. This is stupid expensive whisky from some of the most heralded distilleries in Scotland.

This is one of those reviews I debate about posting. On the one hand, these things are so expensive that it's sort of silly to review them, because no matter how good they are, I wouldn't recommend anyone buy them unless you just won the Powerball or something. On the other hand, I figure people might want to know how they taste (and to engage in therapeutic schadenfreude if they suck), so here they are, in order of my least favorite to my favorite of the bottles we tasted. (There are two bottles in the collection that we didn't get to, a 17 year old unpeated Caol Ila and a 12 year old Lagavulin). I've also included links to the LA Whiskey Society entry for each whisky so you can see how some of my colleagues rated them.

Dalwhinnie 25, distilled 1989, 48.8% abv ($400)

This one was pretty standard stuff with typical malt and vanilla notes and a slight touch of acid. It was good whisky, but it was very straight forward and not very interesting. Several people commented that it didn't taste much different from the 15 year old Dahlwinnie you can get at Trader Joe's for about an eighth of the price.

Dailuaine 34, distilled 1980, 50.9% ($650)

One of the more obscure distilleries that made it into the special releases, the Dailuaine 34 was light and fruity on the nose with a touch of peat. The palate opened with light peat and sweet notes. This was a nice, light, peaty malt but nothing particularly special.

Clynelish Select Reserve, 56.1% abv ($900)

This one has no age statement but is said to include whiskies at least 15 years old. It was very true to the Clynelish profile with creamy malt and sea water notes. An on-profile Clynelish is always good, but this one wasn't better than many much cheaper on-profile Clynelishes available from independent bottlers.

Pittyvaich 25, distilled 1989, 49.9% abv ($550)

The Pittyvaich Distillery operated for less than 20 years, and while I've had a few, I can't say I have a firm impression of the distillery. This one was probably the sleeper hit of the night. It had typical bourbon cask vanilla and malt notes but also a savory, mineral quality that gave it complexity and depth along with very slight floral notes. There's something great about the purity of a malt that is able to show complexity without peat or sherry, and this one definitely did it.

The Cally 40, distilled 1974, 53.3% abv ($1,350)

This is a 40 year old single grain whisky from the Caledonian Distillery in Edinburgh which closed in 1988. This was another sleeper hit as few people, myself included, ever seem to expect much from a Scotch single grain. On this one, a pure bourbon nose was matched at first sip with sweet bourbon caramel, turning spicy and then ending with a taste of honey (tasting much sweeter than wine). The late honey on the palate gave it an almost Canadian Whisky type of profile, but like the best Canadian Whisky ever. The finish was drier with spice and coconut. It was sweet and delicious and fun to drink.

Brora 37, distilled 1977, 50.4% abv ($2,300)

I'm a huge fan of the peated distillate that came out of the Brora Distillery in the late 1970s, and this one hits the mark. It's got that characteristic mixture of fuel like peat notes, grassy malt notes and ocean air, along with a touch of lemon rind late in the palate. It's perfectly balanced with no single element dominating. Back in the heady days of the late 2000s, this was really, really expensive, but not totally unreachable, especially with a group of friends going in together. Tasting a great Brora again brings a tear to my eye.

Port Ellen 32, distilled 1983, 53.9% ($4,000)

In the pantheon of closed distilleries, I usually prefer Brora to Port Ellen, but this 37 year old Port Ellen aged in a combination of European oak casks, including some sherry, is a near perfect specimen. The nose starts with a blast of peat followed by oak and a touch of sweet sherry which grows as you smell it. The palate also starts with peat, then reveals dry sherry which is remains present but never in an overwhelming way. There are dried pineapple notes and plenty of peat. The finish is an old fireplace, or maybe even the smell of just lit firecrackers after they explode (aka my neighborhood on the Fourth of July), along with an old, dry red wine. Everything about this is rich, thick and wonderful.

Well, I would love to have been able to tell you that these whiskies sucked, but that just wasn't the case. The Pittyvaich is definitely the best bang for your buck, but it's still a really big buck and more than I would ever pay. Sadly, except for that Pittyvaich, the "cheaper" whiskies were the more disappointing ones.

Prices aside, Diageo has always done a pretty good job with these special releases. They know they have some great whisky on their hands, and they are going to make sure anyone who wants it pays dearly for the privilege.

Monday, January 25, 2016

If We Treated Other Reviews Like Whiskey Reviews

I was chatting with a friend, when our conversation turned to recent movies we had seen. He asked me, "Did you see Star Wars yet?"

"Yeah, I didn't like it that much."

"What do you mean you didn't like it?"

"It was okay, but the plot was almost the same as the original movie. I thought they could have been more creative. Plus, the acting was stiff."

"Hmm, well that doesn't really make sense, because most people really liked it. Maybe you should see it again?"

"Why would that change anything?"

"You might not have been in the right frame of mind. Did you have a cold? Were you taking any medications? Did you see anything else right before you went that might have affected your perception?"

"Um, I was feeling fine. I don't really remember what else I watched that day."

"Maybe you got a bad theater or something in the theater impacted your experience. Where were you sitting?"

"I don't know. In, like, the middle? Why does any of this matter?"

"It just doesn't make sense that you would have a different opinion from so many other viewers."

"Why not? People have different opinions of things all the time. That's why they're opinions."

"Sure, but it was either a good movie or a bad movie. An experienced viewer should be able to tell the difference. Now, did you watch it blind?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Did you know what movie it was before you went to see it?"

"Of course I did. How would I end up at a movie not knowing what it was?"

"Well, for your criticism to be legitimate, you really should have gone without knowing what it was so you wouldn't have any preconceptions."

"I have no idea what that even means."

"Oh, and let me guess, you ate popcorn."

"Yeah, so what."

"Well, that explains it. It sounds like your reviewing technique is pretty flawed. I assume the critics who thought it was great are the ones who are right."

"What do you mean right? It's a frickin' opinion. Why don't you see it for yourself, and then you can decide if it's good or not?"

"Oh, I already saw it."

Friday, January 22, 2016

New Whiskey Labels: Macallan, Whistlepig, Calvados & Clowns

This week's most interesting new labels from the federal TTB database:

Edrington cleared labels for some very exclusive whiskeys, a 65 year old Macallan Lalique and a 1968 Highland Park.

Whistlepig cleared a label for a 15 year old expression of its Canadian rye.

Just after I made a plea for more Calvados, French spirits importer Charles Neal cleared labels for some old Calvados from Lemorton, a 1972 and a 1987.

Well, here's something that looks super delicious! It's ASB Imitation Whisky, "distilled five times from fruit syrup."  And yes, "imitation whisky" is a real, legally defined category.

Lastly, does anyone have any theories as to why this clown is so sad?

Note:  The fact that a label appears on the TTB database does not necessarily mean it will be produced.  In addition, some details on the label, such as proof, can change in the final product.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Despite Previous Denials, Elijah Craig 12 Drops Age Statement

After a lot of internet chatter from various sources over the last few days, Fred Minnick went on the record with the news that Heaven Hill will drop its 12 year old age statement from Elijah Craig, which will now be NAS (no age statement).

We all know the drill by now. A company claims that they had to drop the age statement because they are short on old whiskey and that they need the flexibility to blend in some younger whiskeys but that the average age will still be around the same, and it will taste the same. For the first few months, maybe a year, it does taste pretty much the same, but after that, it drops off quickly. Then, maybe a few years later, they release a limited edition age stated whiskey at double or triple the price. It's like the plot of the new Star Wars movie: totally formulaic following a very predictable script.

But here's the rub that makes this one extra slimy. Last year, Heaven Hill got rid of the "12" on the front label of Elijah Craig and moved it to the back. Many saw that as a sign that the age statement would soon be removed altogether. Heaven Hill's Bernie Lubbers addressed these rumors on his blog (he also mentions Eagle Rare's similar move with their ten year old, but Eagle Rare is made by a different company):

Eagle Rare (Buffalo Trace), and Elijah Craig (Heaven Hill Brands) have both come under some criticism lately for a label change. The age statements of 10 and 12 years have been moved to the back label. In the case of Elijah Craig, we put a barrel on the front, and emphasized Small Batch more. Well my goodness when you read some of the threads online you’d think were drowning people’s puppies, or are doing something SO devious that we are just trying to hide that we will definitely take the age statement off, and SOON.
Well we are NOT being devious, or trying to be misleading in any way. Whether the age statement is on the front or the back, or in writing, or in numbers, every drop is still 12 years old – PERIOD. There might be a time where we are faced with a decision of whether to take the age statement off completely, or leave it on forever. But these are just decisions you have to make in real time when reality raises it’s head and you’re faced with either keeping a whiskey at a certain age, or taking the age off, and trying as best as you can to keep the flavor profile the same.
That was on June 2, 2015. Despite Lubbers' attempt at face-saving caveats, I would say that taking the age off seven months later is "SOON," and that is, indeed, pretty devious. This saddens me as Heaven Hill has always seemed to be honest with their whiskeys and their information. Lying to consumers is bad business and doing it in a condescending way makes it that much worse.

From now on, I will give zero credence to any statement coming from Heaven Hill. Hell, given that Lubbers went out of his way to deny it, maybe they are drowning puppies.

See more good stuff on the Elijah Craig debacle, and a somewhat contrary view, from Red White & Bourbon, who brought my attention to the quote above. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

More Foods You Should Never Buy

I got a lot of great responses to my post on Five Foods you should Never Buy (because they are easy and much better to make at home). Here are a few of my favorites but see the comments of that post for many great suggestions.

Guacamole. Assuming you can get good fresh avocados (which I know is not true for everyone), there is no reason to buy it in a package. It takes all of five minutes to mash avocados with salt and lime and add your choice of chiles, onions and other add-ons.

Egg Nog. Yes, you can make complicated versions that need to be aged for six months, but you can also whip up a quick Egg Nog which will be much better than anything you can buy in a bottle.

Premixed Spices (Like chili powder). " They take up a lot of space and with a quick Google search you can make most any blend with paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, cumin, coriander, oregano, salt  and pepper. It also tastes better."

Popcorn. Pre-popped popcorn in a bag is a travesty. Microwave popcorn is full of crap. If you have a dutch oven or other heavy pot, making popcorn on the stove is cheap and easy and doesn't take much longer than the microwave.

Infused Vodka: Yes, it takes a few days, but it's not that hard to add stuff to vodka.

Sour Mix (and along with that I'd add lemonade or limeade). See simple syrup in the previous post and add lemons/limes.

Thanks to Joshua, Carter R, Florin, Rohan, billyhacker and all the other commenters.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Five Foods You Should Never Buy

I'm all for convenience food. We all lead busy lives, and we don't always have time to cook. That being said, there are some packaged foods I don't get. Even in a time crunch, these things can easily be made at home and are so much better than store bought equivalents.

Simple Syrup: The people who managed to bottle and sell simple syrup are operating on a PT Barnum level.  It's sugar water for God's sake.  Sugar + water + 3 minutes in the microwave. Oh, you want some fancy, mint infused simple syrup. Take it out of the microwave and immediately throw in a bunch of mint leaves. Done.

Croutons: Slice bread, coat with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, add some crushed garlic if you want, in the oven for five minutes. Boom. Better than any of those salted pebbles they sell at the store.

Salad Dressing: I really dislike most bottled salad dressing. Making a simple vinaigrette takes all of five minutes, and you can vary it by just throwing in whatever's in your cupboard: Tabasco? Sure. Worcestershire? Why not. Dijon Mustard? Definitely. Angostura bitters? Might as well. A simple blue cheese dressing doesn't take much longer.

Tortilla Chips: You don't need a deep fat frier, just a frying pan. Slice corn tortillas, fry in oil, flip and salt. You will never buy a bag of chips again. The only challenge is not eating all of them as they come out of the pan.

Prosciutto. Don't tell me you're still buying prosciutto. Give me a break! All you need to do is get a leg from a six month old Duroc hog, cure it and hang it in your meat cellar for 12 to 18 months. Well, okay, maybe some things should be left to the professionals (or Oliver Klimek).

What would you add to the list?

Friday, January 15, 2016

New Whiskey Labels: Old Scotch, Sam Adams, Diageo and More

This week's most interesting new labels from the federal TTB database:

A label cleared for a 45 year old 1969 Tomintoul from Duncan Taylor.

A Chicago importer cleared two labels for Fat Dram, which appears to be a house label for their Scotch picks. They include a 15 year old Laphroaig and a 6 year old Caol Ila, both of which look to be cask strength. No telling who the bottler is.

Berkshire Mountain Distillers in Massachusetts cleared a label for Shays' Rebellion Whiskey, a whiskey made from Sam Adams Cinder Bock beer aged in Sam Adams Utopias casks.

Diageo cleared a label for The Hilhaven Lodge, a blend of bourbon, rye and Tennessee Whiskey.

Note:  The fact that a label appears on the TTB database does not necessarily mean it will be produced.  In addition, some details on the label, such as proof, can change in the final product.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Brandies We Need More Of

As regular readers know, this is the Golden Age of Brandy. There are amazing brandies out there that are reasonably priced, but they are still mostly limited to a few markets. Here are three French brandies I'd like to see more of in more places in the US.

1.  Armagnac. I've been raving about Armagnac for the past couple of years, but the amazing bottles from small growers are mostly going to just a few US locations like K&L, D&M and Astor Wines. In most of the rest of the country, even in many great liquor stores, there's not much in the way of great Armagnac except for the Darroze bottlings (which are very good). This is likely due to the nature of the industry. Most of the best stuff comes from small grower/producers who don't always have huge stocks. Then again, there are a lot of small grower/producers so hopefully we will have a chance to get more and more.

2. Calvados. This stunning apple/pear brandy from Normandy may be the most underrated spirit around right now. One of the best spirits I had last year was a Calvados. While Camut is excellent Calvados which is fairly available, there are around 200 Calvados producers, very few of which make it to the US. I'm planning on drinking a lot of Calvados this year, but I'd love to see more of the good stuff.

3. Marc. Marc is French pomace brandy, made from the leftovers from wine making (skins, pulp, seeds, etc.). It is similar to Italian grappa except that where grappa is usually unaged, some marks are aged in oak (and others in glass or stone). It is made in various regions which are included in the name of the spirit (e.g. Marc de Bourgogne from Burgandy or Marc de Champagne, etc.). Marc is funky, funky stuff with all kinds of crazy earthy, musty notes. I've only had a few but would love to try more.

Hopefully more retailers will figure out that brandy is a happening spirit and start giving us some variety.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Armagnac Producers

As I've become more and more interested in brandies, and Armagnac in particular, I thought I would try to put together a list of producers along the lines of my list of whiskey distilleries. In his excellent but regrettably out of print 1998 book Armagnac - The Definitive Guide to France's Premier Brandy, Charles Neal says that there are 800 producers in the Armagnac region. That is a pretty daunting number and covers many producers who sell to negociants and don't bottle their own product. As a more reasonable endeavor, I put together a list of major Armagnac producers whose products are more likely to be found in the U.S.

Much as whiskey production includes distillers, blenders and bottlers of sourced product, Armagnac includes a number of different types of producers.  There are grower/producers who grow their own grapes and make their own wine (which is often distilled for them by a traveling distiller), distillers who buy wine and distill and age it, and negociants who buy distilled Armagnac to bottle and/or blend.

The list below is divided into four sections. The first three sections list grower/producers in the three regions of Armagnac (though Haut Armagnac barely has any producers) which are listed along with their locations. Some of these growers bottle their own Armagnac while others sell casks to Darroze, the one Armagnac negociant that regularly lists the provenance of its casks.

The last list shows firms that distill and/or bottle Armagnac from other growers. Some of them grow some portion of their own grapes as well. As with whiskey, it's not always clear who does what, but I've tried my best to get it right.

Bas Armagnac

Artez, Arthez d'Armagnac. More information available on their distributor's website.
Baraillon Domaine de, Lannemaignan
Barigos, Domaine de
La Beroje, Chateau de,  Le Houg
Bernadotte, Domaine de, Parleboscq
Bertruc, Domaine de, Le Frêche
Boingneres, Domaine, Le Frêche
Bouillon, Domaine de
Briat, Chateau de, Mauvezin d'Armaganc
Busquet, Domaine de, Labastide d'Armagnac
Coquillon, Domaine de, Le Frêche
Couzard Lassalle, Domaine,
Ducs, Domaine Aux, Le Bourdalat 
Esperance, Domaine de, Mauvezin-d'Armagnac
La Gardenne, Domaine de,
Garreau, Chateau, Labastide-d'Armagnac
Gaube, Chateau de, Perquie
Guillemouta, Domaine de
Jean Bon, Domaine de, Toujouse
Jouanchicot, Domaine de (aka Domaine de Dupont), Mauléon-d'Armagnac
Jouanda, Domaine de, Arthez d'Armagnac
Joy, Domaine de, Panjas
Laballe, Chateau de, Parleboscq
Laberdolive, Domaine de, Labastide-d'Armagnac
Laburthe, Domaine de, Lacquy
Lacquy, Chateau de, Lacquy
Lamarquette, Domaine de
Laree, Chateau de, Laree
Lassaubatju, Domaine de, Hontanx
Lasserade, Chateau de, Lasserade
Laubade, Chateu de, Sorbets
Loujan, Domain (Armagnacs labeled just "Loujan" are sourced).
Luquet, Domaine de, Labastide-d'Armagnac
Maouhum, Domaine de
Marie Duffau
Martet, Chateau, Vic-Fezensac (owned by Maison Gelas)
Martin, Domaine au, Hontanx
Millet, Chateau de, Eauze
Miquer, Domaine de, Hontanx
Ognoas, Domaine De, Arthez d'Armagnac
Papolle, Domaine de, Mauléon d’Armagnac
Petita, Domaine de, Perquie
Peyrot, Domaine de, Sainte Christie d'Armagnac
Pounon, Domaine de, Labastide d'Armagnac
Pouteou, Domaine de, Lannemaignan
Ravignan, Chateau de, Perquie
Rieston, Domaine de, Perquie
Rimaillo, Domaine de,
Saint Aubin, Chateau du
Salie, Domaine de, Landas
Sandemagnan, Chateau, Cazaubon
Tariquet, Chateau du

Haut Armagnac

Grand-Comte, Domaine de, Roquelaure.


Arton, Domaine de, Lectoure.
Aurensan, Domaine, Cassaigne (common ownership with Leberon)
Busca, Chateau du, Mansencôme
Cassaigne, Chateau de, Cassaigne
Grangerie, Chateau de, Lannes
Ladeveze, Tenareze de
Leberon, Chateau de, Cassaigne (common ownership with Aurensan)
Pellehaut, Chateau de, Montréal
La Poste, Domaine de, 
Pouchegu, Domaine de
La Salette, Domaine, Condom (aka Domaine Duffour)


Baron de Castelnau, Ayguetinte (Distills and ages purchased wines)
Baron de Lustrac, Magnan
Castarede, Maison, Lavardac. (Also use the label Chateau de Maniban). They distill in-house, except for some of their oldest vintages.
Cavé, Lannepax
Chabot, Villeneuve-de-Marsan
Cles des Ducs, Panjas
Darroze, Bas Armagnac. Darroze purchases Armagnac and discloses the producer on the label as well as making blends.
Dartigalongue, Nogaro (also uses the label La Croix de Salles). Use their own grapes as well as purchasing.
Delord, Lannepax (also sell under the Marie Duffau label). Delord has its own vines as well as purchasing wines.
Eric Artiguelongue, Arblade le Haut
Ferrand, Maison, This Cognac bottler also bottles Armagnac under the Cerbois label.
Gelas, Maison, Vic-Fezensac. Owners of Chateau Martet bottle it as well as other Armagnacs.
Janneau, Condom (Distills and ages from purchased wines)
Kelt, Nogaro. A Cognac bottler that also makes Chateau du Saint Aubin Armagnac.
Lafitte, Domaine a, Sion
Larressingle, Condom
Loujan, This new producer has purchased a vineyard but, prior to having its own wines, bottled sourced Armagnacs under the Loujan label. Now they have produced some Armagnacs from their wines under the label "Domaine Loujan.".
Marcel Trepout, Vic-Fezensac
Marquis de Montesquiou, Eauze (Pernod Ricard)
Marquis de Sauval
Montal, Nogaro.
Ryst-Dupeyron, Maison, Condom. Using the label J. Dupeyron.
Samalens, Laujuzan
Sempe, Villeneuve-de-Marsan
Veuve J. Goudoulin, Maison, Gondrin

Friday, January 8, 2016

New Whiskey Labels: Scotch, Truffles and Buttons

This week's most interesting new labels from the federal TTB database:

A label cleared for a 19 year old Ledaig matured in Oloroso sherry casks.

Wild Turkey cleared a label for Bond & Lillard Bourbon, a long defunct brand.

The Last Drop cleared a label for a 50 year old cask strength blend.

New in flavored whiskey: Sonoma County Distilling cleared a label for a rye flavored with black truffles.

I've seen new distilleries promote themselves with family recipes, special water sources and lots of other claims, but this description from the label of Black Button Distillery is one of the oddest:

Since 1922, my family's button factory has provided some of the finest men's suit buttons used around the world. These buttons have closed suits worn by Presidents, Popes, and Kings. My name is Jason Barrett and it is my family's commitment to making an excellent product that inspired me to start Black Button Distilling in 2012.
Well, sure, if you can make great buttons, you can definitely make great whiskey. I mean, it's almost the same thing.

Note:  The fact that a label appears on the TTB database does not necessarily mean it will be produced.  In addition, some details on the label, such as proof, can change in the final product.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Bourbon Cask Glenfarclas

Glenfarclas is one of the most beloved single malts out there, known for its rich sherry notes, but what does it taste like underneath all of that sherry? There's not much chance to find out, since nearly all Glenfarclas is either entirely sherry matured or a blend of mostly sherry matured whisky. For that reason, I was excited to taste an old, independently bottled Glenfarclas aged solely in a bourbon cask. This one came to me a few years ago from the Cadenhead shop so it's probably no longer readily attainable.

Glenfarclas 33 year old (Cadenhead's Chairman's Stock) distilled 1973, bottled 2006, 42.6% abv. ($260).

The nose on this is astounding. There are huge fruit notes with malt and vanilla in the background, and it all comes together so well. After the fruity nose, the palate is surprisingly dry and spicy with lots of earth notes. The finish is earthy in an almost Cognac like way with a slight bitterness in that style.

This is really fantastic stuff. Clearly, the quality of Glenfarclas isn't just about the sherry. The whiskey itself can be magnificent even absent the sherry's influence. I wonder if the distillery would consider releasing more of its own bourbon casks. Whether they do or not, Glenfarclas seems to be great in any cask.

Monday, January 4, 2016

How Whiskey Geeks Appear to Outsiders Part 2

You might recall I had a weird experience the last time I was buying cottage cheese at my local store. Recently, I went back to get some more, and as I was looking through the shelf, I was approached by the same guy who talked to me the last time I was shopping.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Oh, you're that cottage cheese guy."

"Yes I am. I even have a blog,"

"Wait, if you're a cottage cheese expert, why is your blog called..."

"Um, it's a long story. Anyway, if you're looking for something great, might I suggest this new release from Bessie's Best. It includes some curds from the famous Utter World Dairy, which I'm sure you've heard of."

"Actually, I haven't."

"Really? Well, Utter World cottage cheese is the rarest and most coveted of all. The Dairy closed in the 1990s, but there are still a few tanks of it out there that occasionally come to market. You're lucky to even find it on the shelf."

"Why would I want cottage cheese that old?"

"Just because it's considered by pretty much everyone to be the best cottage cheese ever."

"But if it's so good, why did it close down?"

"You know, back in the 1990s, people just didn't appreciate good cottage cheese. Look, even if you don't want to eat it, you should buy it. Most people who buy it will never open the container anyway."

"Why would I buy cottage cheese if I wasn't going to eat it?"

"Well, you didn't hear it from me, but you can make a mint selling this stuff on-line. You could probably turn around tomorrow and sell it for four times what you paid for it today."

"I'm sorry, but that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There's an entire shelf of cottage cheese here. It all tastes mostly the same, and you're telling me that someone would buy this one at four times the price just because it came from a failed business? Look, if you like it so much, why don't you buy it?"

"Oh, I already have hundreds of tubs of it in my cottage cheese bunker."

"Okay, I think I'll be going now."