Monday, June 1, 2015

Said No One Ever - Whiskey Edition


Okay, I realize that this meme is like five years old, but, hey, I'm a bit slow, and I don't think anyone ever did a whiskey edition. So here for your enjoyment is the whiskey geek edition of things said by no one ever:

  • My favorite distilleries are Dailuaine and Girvan.
  • I collected a ton of Pappy Van Winkle back in '06 - I'm happy to sell you one at cost.
  • I wish they had bottled this at lower proof.
  • We started our grain to glass microdistillery in the hopes that one day a major corporation would buy us out and make us really rich.
  • It doesn't matter whether Jack Daniel's is technically a bourbon or not. 
  • I really prefer whiskeys that have been aged in small barrels.
  • Our company's whiskeys are not at all smooth.
  • I prefer Willett bottlings that don't have a name.
  • I wish they had finished this in port casks.
  • Wow, did you see the great deal on Casker's!
  • The industry has been struggling to find a way to get more middle aged white men interested in whiskey.
  • I love reading the distillery profiles in whiskey magazines.
  • There just aren't enough whiskey blogs.

Now it's your turn...


23 comments:

Edward said...

Maybe no one ever said #4, but I bet a lot of them are thinking it now.

Mark said...

Accelerated aging techniques are far superior, and will soon overtake traditional barrels at all distilleries.

Jake said...

"We started our grain to glass microdistillery in the hopes that one day a major corporation would buy us out and make us really rich."

I was gonna say angel's envy, but they were already owned by a major corporation... or something like that...

Anonymous said...

I wish Lagavulin made peated cinnamon liqueur.

Josh Feldman said...

"I wish my favorite distillery would come out with a younger expression or a NAS because I really love the grassy sweet and aggressive kick of young whiskey"...

Shane Helmick said...

This new NAS Mortlach is an amazing whisky at an amazing price!

Anonymous said...

I am glad I bought all the Orphan Barrels, they are rare and aged like BTAC but I like their taste better

maltfascination.com said...

Number five, about Jack Daniel's... Isn't that what Chuck Cowdery has been going on about?

Chuck Cowdery said...

This six month old Frankenstein whiskey really does taste like it's ten.

Anonymous said...

It's never tiring to see people sh*t on large companies, because that's new news.

or

I only drink bourbon's made by people who sit on porches, in overalls, sipping out of mason jars, because that's exactly who makes every bourbon... right?

or

I judge the whiskey on its marketing, not the taste.

or

I have tremendous understanding of the industry, because I read a magazine a couple times and listened to one panel.

or

Wearing a tartan to a scotch festival is the equivalent of wearing the band's t-shirt to their concert.

Joshua said...

I really like Canadian Whiskey because it always has such depth and character.

Anonymous said...

I think Bowmore peaked in the '80s

Anonymous said...

When reading a bourbon label, I love being completely confused about exactly who makes the whiskey, where it is distilled and how long it was aged. Those fun backstories are enough for me!

Ben said...

I never buy another bottle of whiskey until I've finished the one I'm drinking. That's because I trust that whiskey made in the future will be as good, if not better, than in the past.

I think closed distilleries generally went out of business because their whiskey was bad.

David Driscoll could sell more whiskey if he upped his enthusiasm a bit more. On the other hand, I admire his willingness to call it like he sees it and steer customers away from mediocre booze.

kallaskander said...

Buy our story - the whisky comes free.

Funky Tape said...

"I think I'll wait and buy this on the secondary market."

"The reviews on ____ bourbon sound great, but they don't mention vanilla and caramel enough or grade it at 124/100 so I'm gonna pass.'

"Now if Michter's would just blend this single barrel a bit more and finish it AGAIN in a new charred barrel, then I'd buy a whole case."

Anonymous said...

actually, I have said both the comment about JD, and that I love reading the distillery profiles in whisky magazines....

VT Mike said...

It must be good, it won three gold medals and scored better than Pappy.

Anonymous said...

It's not really an old family recipe but it was the only whiskey MGP would sell us.

Justin said...

I wish all bourbon distilleries were as transparent as Diageo. Those guys rock!!!!!

Anonymous said...

To be honest, I will genuinely say that I wish some BP American whisky was bottled at a lower proof. I'm not embarrassed either!

Briggs said...

"Produced and bottled by" means what it says, I'm sure of it.

Anonymous said...

Who needs Pappy 20 when you've got Rebel Yell just waiting for you on any liquor store shelf?!!