Faker's Mark Changes Course

Here's another press release from the people at Faker's Mark:


You kicked our ass, we listened.

Dear Friends,

Since we announced our decision last week to reduce the alcohol content (ABV) of Faker’s Mark in response to supply constraints and greed, we have heard many concerns and questions from our ambassadors and brand fans. We’re humbled by your overwhelming response and passion for Faker’s Mark. While we thought what we were doing was an easy way to screw our own consumers – you told us in large numbers to go screw ourselves instead.

You called us assholes. We listened. And we’re sincerely sorry we caused a public relations nightmare for both ourselves and our corporate overloads at Mr. Bean Inc.

So effective immediately, we are reversing our decision to lower the ABV of Faker’s Mark, and resuming production at 45% alcohol by volume (90 proof). Just like we’ve made it since the very beginning (except for the export and higher proof versions we've done).

Your trust, loyalty and money are what’s most important. We realize we can’t lose sight of that. We understand that there are probably other ways to make you pay more that will have fewer consequences for us, and we will begin investigating those immediately. We have also fired our PR firm, even though they came to us with stunning successes as the brains behind both New Coke and Netflix's Qwikster.


Sincerely,

Samuel Roberts
GWWSSTU (Guy Who Wasn't Supposed to Screw Thinks Up),
Faker's Mark